Thursday, November 10, 2016

Throughout the World, There was Silence

I woke up yesterday and immediately noticed that the world had changed. It's the most indescribable feeling, but in your gut, in your heart, and in your head, you know. It's so rare that all three align. But here we are.
The world has been teeming, just sitting on the edge, waiting for that one spark to ignite the fire. And we have just brought it that one step closer to it all. You learn about World War 1&2 in history classes. You read books of tales from survivors. You hear your grandparents describe some of what they lived. But they never explain the feeling of that one day when you knew that your world was no longer going to be the same. 
This election has been by far the most ridiculous, mud-slinging, name calling, knock-down drag-out piece of reality TV we've ever had to watch. It should never have come down to this. When I woke up and saw the results, my heart broke. My heart broke for my boyfriend's kids, for my LGBTQ friends, for myself, and for my country. As my own father sang the praises of the new President-elect, I sobbed. 
Through all of the trials I have faced in my life--abuse, undiagnosed mental disorders, divorces ripping my families apart, I have never felt such grief and despair. It took me by surprise just how much it affected me. But here I am, still holding back tears as I sit in the waiting room of my doctor's office and watch the news broadcast his airplane getting washed and ready for take-off to meet with President Obama. 
I do all I can not to say his name. As if by not saying it, there is somehow still a chance the future can changed and all of this remembered as a narrow escape. As if saying it gives him power. He is he-who-must-not-be-named. 
I am frightened. Truly and properly frightened. But I will not sit back and meekly watch this takeover happen. I will stand up for and with all of those he has persecuted, and will not back down. Because his ideals and the world he wishes to create is not a world I want to live in. I want to live in a world where I am free to make choices about my own body. Where I have access to health care and mental health facilities. Where my friends of all color, creed, race, religion, sex, gender and everything in-between have the same rights and privileges as any white heterosexual male. 
Everyone on social media has been incredible; pouring out messages of love and support to one another. We are angry, oh yes we are angry. But we will not bully, as we have been bullied. We will not put down, as we have been put down. We will not use scare tactics or violence like it has been used against us. But we will stand together in love and pride and compassion to make this world what we deserve. 

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