An important point was brought up
to me today that gave me the most incredible “Ah-ha!” moment. I began reading
Esme Weijun Wang’s blog on the
recommendation of a friend. I was immediately drawn to her post on psychological
disorders and being high-functioning. Esme has been diagnosed with schizoaffective
disorder, but is a high functioning schizophrenic. Usually when you are diagnosed with a mental illness
such as this, or my own bipolar disorder, it is suggested that you work in low-level
jobs to make it easier to collect yourself, aka fast food type environments. In
her article, Esme talks about how she can’t work at McDonald’s, but she can run
a business.
There are
so many different levels of mental illness, and this
article really made me think of how we need to treat each individual as
just that. If you meet five people on the street who all have the same college
degree, will you immediately think all of them will act exactly the same and
end up in the same exact career? Of course not. So why assume that those with
mental disorders, despite some being low functioning, some being high
functioning, and some unable to function at all, will all have the same
limitations?
I am stuck
inside of my brain every single day. It can be the hardest challenge to even
get out of bed some days, but when I have a job that challenges me and holds me
accountable and demands that I put this brain that won’t shut off to good use—I
can function. I can contribute something to society. Currently I’m working five
different jobs and I’m going back to school. I am a teacher, a tutor, a writer,
and an entrepreneur. I’m also a sales associate
at a retail store. My job in retail causes panic and anxiety attacks before
every call in and every shift. Once I am there, it is busy enough to distract
me from myself, but my symptoms are still going on to the point that I end up
sick by the end of the night. This low-level job that is supposed to be simple,
easy-on-the-brain income has become my main source of triggers and anxiety.
This is my second attempt at a retail position in the past two years, and I had originally thought it was a break down in my mental state that was holding me back, as years ago I loved working retail. Since then I have found ways to cope with my inner self and a couple of medications that help significantly, so I decided to give retail another shot. It disappointed me that I was having the same reactions that I had when I was without medication, and I felt as thought something was wrong with me until I read this article. It made me realize that not everyone is fit for the same things, and though most people use fast food or retail as an entrance to the work force, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me when I can’t handle the environment. To quote Esme’s article and Andrew Solomon’s book Far from the Tree, “Intermittently, I have little things trigger here and there, but they only last a day or two… Some people get stressed and their back goes out. I get stressed and my mind goes out. But then it comes back.”
This is my second attempt at a retail position in the past two years, and I had originally thought it was a break down in my mental state that was holding me back, as years ago I loved working retail. Since then I have found ways to cope with my inner self and a couple of medications that help significantly, so I decided to give retail another shot. It disappointed me that I was having the same reactions that I had when I was without medication, and I felt as thought something was wrong with me until I read this article. It made me realize that not everyone is fit for the same things, and though most people use fast food or retail as an entrance to the work force, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me when I can’t handle the environment. To quote Esme’s article and Andrew Solomon’s book Far from the Tree, “Intermittently, I have little things trigger here and there, but they only last a day or two… Some people get stressed and their back goes out. I get stressed and my mind goes out. But then it comes back.”
